first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
