the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
