If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
