that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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