dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
