I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
