If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
