I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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