I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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