Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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