Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize