it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
