If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
