I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize