Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
