My friends, they love my intelligence
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?