come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i've created a new STD.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.