whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
