I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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