I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
