Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
