An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
