I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
