Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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