just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
