I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
