this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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