he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
