Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
