I queefed so loud it echoed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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