Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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