That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
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right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
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I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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