we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize