I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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