its not stalking. its research.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
