When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Is it because I queefed?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Two words: blizzard sex
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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