YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
