You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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