I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
its liver damage thursday
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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