What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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