Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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