so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
