just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
