We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
