he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
