Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
