i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
