I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
