I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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