Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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