Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
