I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize