I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
