its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
