Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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