My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
