just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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