party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
