WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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