You can't special order awesome
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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