i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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